Accept the Roads that are Open

So much of human suffering, I believe, results from our inability to accept the options that we actually do have, as opposed to those we want to have. We want to attend College A, but have been accepted by only Colleges B and C.

This is the quintessential human dilemma: we want what we don't have, and don't want what we actually do have. The moment an option presents itself, it loses its luster. We strive for a position, title, relationship, or object, and once it becomes available, it's not so appealing anymore. Instead, we'd rather dwell on imaginary roads of opportunity.

Perhaps its biological, an impulse to possess more (and more and more and more). Either way, we waste so much time dwelling on options that are simply not available to us; when we should, for purposes of practicality, be paying attention to those that are present.

Why dwell on the fact that we didn't get the internship when we have another interview later this week and work in two hours?

Besides the satisfaction from emotional sulking, what good is there in wishing for options that don't exist? If I want a new car but don't have enough money, I can stamp my emotional feet or consider what options I do have: such as saving my money, buying a used car, taking out a loan, and so. These are actual possibilities that reflect option I do have.

Fantasizing about winning the lottery is just a waste of time and a form of self-punishment; it's far more productive, realistic, and healthy to focus on what options I actually have. Dwelling on how unfair I think life is or the way that things should be is fruitless, and the cause of so much unnecessary suffering. If disappointment is a mental wound, then entertaining options that don't exist is the equivalent of picking at the scab.

Over and over and over, as we say to ourselves, "Why did I take this way to work? If only..." "

If only doesn't matter because it doesn't exist, yet. And if and when it does come to fruition--you get the acceptance call from the internship because the other candidate declined, for instance--then we can consider that as a possible choice. But there is no point whatsoever indulging fantasies about options that don't exist.

Concentrate on what's real, strive to make your vision of the future a reality, and quit fixating on roads aren't open.